Thoughts

Tonight as I worked on my English IV term paper that is due Wednesday afternoon, I kept repeating one of my favorite lines from Church At Sandhurst worship.  I've always loved the line but for some reason tonight i just couldn't get it out of my head... It is a simple, but mind blowing lyric.  It states, "Lord of the universe, nailed to a tree."  The first time you hear it, it is only a lyric.  Just another line in one of the many songs you sing in church or hear on your christian radio station.  But as i began to analyze the words, my heart began to break.  If you know me, you know that I am a very emotional person... I cry when i hear a symphony or when a ambulance drives past me.  I cry reading missionary reports, and i cry even harder when i write my own.  Most of the time, my emotions are far beyond the average person, and i don't expect others to feel the same way i do, because everyone handles decisions differently and everyones personality calls them to a different reaction, but, i think this case is different. If we are truly Christ followers, and we long for a relationship with him, I think this line should break all of our hearts.  When i look at my life and at the petty things that i care about and that the people surrounding me care about, it is absolutely disgusting.  Yes, God placed us on the earth to walk and live among others, and because of our sin nature, that will bring petty drama and selfishness, but we have taken it to a whole new level.  We are so caught up in popularity and money and everything being at our fingertips that we forget what it is like to fall on our faces and be madly in love with Christ.  Lets face it, unless we are going through a rough patch, we neglect God in most situations in our life.  I mean, when was the last time that you just stopped caring about things of this world for 5 minutes, and gave yourself to God? I know I can't even remember the last time.  Don't get me wrong.  God placed us on this earth and we are not called to live like we are still in Bible times and not make use of modern day technology, but we don't just "use" it.  It rules our lives.  Social media and texting and our 42 inch tv's dictate our lives.  We forget that the only reason we were put on this earth was for Gods glory, and the only reason we are still here is because he hasn't finished with us yet.  We think we control our lives, and we don't.  We think we can just live however we want to and when we get out of college or married or when we have children that we will finally straighten out.  We live in a spoiled dream world and we think it spins around our little finger.  We are selfish, prideful creatures.  God created all of the billions of miles of galaxy's with planets and so many things beyond our imagination.  He spoke, and created earth... And in all of his majesty and wonder, he felt the need to create me and you.  He did not create us to get mad that someone else got the same jacket as us or that we did not get the position we wanted at work.  He created us for his glory.  He still wants us to live, but he wants us to want him.  Without him, we are literally nothing.  The bible says that our life is a vapor.  It would be a shame to go through life looking for contentment in filthy, detestable things on this earth that will pass away, whenever the Lord of the universe was hung to a tree so that you and I could spend the rest of our lives worshiping at the feet of the creator.  God gives his everything for us.  His blood was shed for our lives.  Lets make them worth it.

Perspectives.

Lately I've really been struggling with the fact that my life is not in my own hands.  Don't get me wrong, I am a child of the amazing king and I LOVE that!  BUT, sometimes I just don't really understand what he is doing with me! I mean he gave me the amazing opportunity to be raised on the mission field and have my eyes opened to so many needs around the world, but then he moved my family back to America!  So, everyday i have this struggle in my life where i feel like i am completely wasting my time away! Not necessarily because I am in America, because i know we need Jesus here just as much as and other country, but because of how i spend my time! I am a student, so my school can be my mission field, but I sit for hours in a class room taking notes and learning skills and the whole time I am thinking "3/4 of the world lives of $2 a day, and I'm sitting in an air conditioned classroom paying $7,000 a year for school." Or i sit and think about how 41% of the world hasn't heard the gospel, and I am worried about how Potassium and Iron could bond to form a compound!  I know that God put me in this situation for his glory and that one day I will need the skills I am learning in order to further his kingdom, but it is so hard to grasp that right now! Ministry is one of the passions that burns greatly inside of me, so sitting in a classroom for 8 hours a day is very hard and it really tests my patience!  I just have to remind myself that in order to follow Christ, I need to work hard at EVERYTHING that he has called me to, and if that is school for right now, then that is where he wants me to put my efforts.  So I have a challenge for all of us, because I know there are others who also feel like you should be doing something so much "greater" than what you are!  DONT WASTE THE OPPORTUNITY GOD HAS GIVEN YOU! Maybe we are not meant to be the ones in Africa right now, but our testimony and attitude where we are could be the one thing that encourages someone else to go into those unreached nations and preach Gods word! We may not be the one who is supposed to physically go there right now, but that doesn't mean that we don't have a huge part in it!  I know you feel convicted to be doing something exciting and big, but don't let that make you bitter toward the life you have right now!  I always think to myself, one day i will be in the middle of a village in the pit of no where and Dr. Anderson's chemistry class will have taught me some fact that will come in handy!

 I remember one time i was sharing with a dear friend about my struggle with feeling useless and she replied to me, " Maybe you are here for me." I looked back at her confused. She laughed and said " No really. Maybe all these years of school, drama, confusion, all of it, was so that we could have this one conversation right now.  Maybe something you will say to me will change my life forever, and all of these years will not be wasted at all, but they will have impacted God's kingdom in a way you couldn't imagine."     We never know what our day will bring or what God is trying to do in our lives, but be open to it.  Accept the challenge of living this "boring American life", and make it radical.  Make your classes, friendships, sports, and everything else be for God's glory.  Don't waste another day thinking you are useless.  God woke you up this morning for a reason.  As long as you are breathing, He isn't done doing amazing things through you.